Celebrities in Prison

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#956 Clint Eastwood, who is sitting on a bench, engrossed in polishing his six-shooter, (bullet-less, of course). by KoshzPoshz
You walk up to Clint Eastwood. "Need something?" he mumbles.

Scalp his face off
Act like a cowboy

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#955 Pull her screaming off of him. by KoshzPoshz

"Let me at him!" she screams. "That man stole my babies! He pretended to be the doctor, but he wasn't, and he whisked my children away to sacrifice to Xenu!"


Kick Tom Cruise
Punch Tom Cruise

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#954 Head asplode! by KoshzPoshz

His head explodes, blasting gore every which way. "Oh my god!" Mel screams. "The guards are gonna kill us!"

Gag Mel with your mind powers
Wait patiently

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#953 Initiate makeout session with mirror. by KoshzPoshz

Mmmmmm... It feels good to kiss someone so attractive, but then you remember that it's just a mirror. Damn! This just won't do. You feel the need to kiss yourself for real.

Try to twist your head around in a way that would allow you to kiss yourself
Ask the guard if the prison has a cloning machine

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#952 Focus on your heart by KoshzPoshz

Suddenly, your heartbeat speeds up to that of a gorilla. Prettisimo! You feel like you could outrun Usain Bolt (who is also in this jail)!

Seek out Usain Bolt to challenge him in a race
Become a superhero

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#951 Do something else by KoshzPoshz

You ask Mel what there is to do in the ol' prison. "Well, there's not a lot to do here. You could go to the rec room, or maybe just wander around".

Go to the rec room
Wander around

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#950 Ask Mel Gibson why he's trying to dig a hole by KoshzPoshz

"Do I have to tell you?" snarls Mel. You point your silenced revolver at him. "All right, all right! I heard there was a buried golden pirate treasure ancient Egyptian Nordic pirate treasure nuclear treasure space alien secret treasure pirate golden ship hidden underneath the prison. It's probably worth billions. If I find the ship, I can bribe the guard and get out of this hellhole!"

Help Mel Gibson dig the hole
Talk to the guard

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#949 Offer Mel Gibson some nice pruno by KoshzPoshz

"Thanks!" Mel exclaims. "It's been a while since I enjoyed some of that sweet, alcoholic prison nectar! It really hits the spot after a long day of digging a hole. Say, have you considered selling that stuff? A lot of our fellow inmates would enjoy drinking that wonderful toilet sangria. You would make a lot of clams!"

Go into the pruno business
Do something else

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#948 Spy on Mel Gibson by KoshzPoshz

You watch Mel Gibson intently. You are so silent and stealthy, he doesn't even notice. He seems to be trying to dig a hole in the ground with only his bare hands. He's gotten about 2 feet down.

Ask Mel Gibson why he's trying to dig a hole
Offer Mel Gibson some nice pruno

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#947 Start some good ol' fashioned spyin' by KoshzPoshz

You get your brain into "spy-like" mode, just like the hit film "Mission Impossible". You grab your tux, silenced pistol, and pruno. All right! You're ready for some covert looking.

Spy on Mel Gibson
Spy on the guard

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#946 Oh right, he's a guard. by Amanda

You laugh sheepishly in an attempt to cover up your slip-of-tongue, your foot still in the toilet with the vomit refusing to come off. You look over at poor Mel, unconscious on his bunk. Maurice looks at you suspiciously, awaiting an answer. You better think of something...

Shout "Whoa! Slow down, Maurice!" in your best Gaston-voice.
Shout "Hey, isn't that O.J Simpson?" to make Maurice turn around.

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#945 You're blind, dumbass. Remember when you lit your head on fire that one time? Yeah. by Splintercat

Oh yeah... You probably don't have eyes anymore.
Or a face for that matter.

But this is SuperCIP! They probably have the best plastic surgeons around!
In fact, maybe that full body cast is from all the sweet surgery you've gotten.

Keep hope alive
You know the phantom of the opera was pretty popular, he was a burn victim right?

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#944 fondle your breasts by Professor Eevee

You attempt to fondle your breasts, but your hands phase right through them. You take a moment to ponder why you were suddenly compelled to masturbate.

What if I'm a character in a choose your own adventure that is constantly being constructed by other people?
Shrug it off and continue the story.

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#943 It was alright, I guess. by Professor Eevee

That's fine. How about we make our own story, since this one has flopped!

Once upon a time...
That sounds stupid.

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#942 Sorry by Professor Eevee

Unfortunately, due to this website's limitations, I'm unable to listen in order to provide a believable response.


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Celebritiesinprison.com is a work of collaborative interactive fiction. Any similarity to actual celebrities, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Game experience may change during online play. All entries are copyright their original authors. We din' shoot nobody, we just made the gun!