Celebrities in Prison

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#998 Beg for more by sssonik
"I never had Tom Cruise suck my dick before." Mel gasps, slightly exhausted after getting his hard member sucked by the famous scientologist.

"Well, why do you think I'm a scientologist in the first place?" you exclaim.

"You know Catholicism is just as effective for squelching homo desires. We utilize guilt!" Mel exclaims while doing the hail-mary-full-of-grace Catholic thing.

You think about this...

Renounce your faith in scientology
Double down on your Xenu-fearing religion

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#997 Kill Sean too. How much worse can this get!? by 3ncrypt10n80y

As you lunge at Sean,he deftly dodges your attack. Suddenly, you notice more celebrities around you, chanting fight, fight, fight! Sean Connery glares down at you, smirking. You remember, too late, that he is the 4-time winner of the celebrity fighting championships.

Attempt to fight Sean
Attempt to seduce Sean

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#996 Go to the afterlife. by Toby H

You die after 50 lashings, not bad.

Being a Scientologist you believe in afterlife. You shed your meaty tom cruise body and your Thetan soul fly's free.

Your Thetan then forgets it was ever Tom cruise it is now just a plain old Thetan, ready for the afterlife.

At the end of all this the Thetan who was formally Tom cruise realizes it still has not eradicated all its physical scars such as failed stunts from filming Mission impossible 6.

The thetan is then thrown back down to Earth and must inhabit another human, this time its...


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#995 Punch Jedward by Toby H

You punch a Jedward, it yelps and runs off in a furious tantrum.

"Nice job you jerk!" the other Jedward protests and storms off after his clone. You groan and look down at the sick you just threw up all over your bed.

"great" you complain, suddenly realizing once again that you are not alone.

The man in the surgical mask watches you from nearby, all you can tell is that he is slightly amused by the situation.

"What the F you looking at you nob?!"
"I'm not a vampire, I swear!!"

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#994 Invite him for waffles by Toby H

"hey Man!" you say a little too enthusiastically that it kinda makes him jump. "Wanna be on my team?" Em looks you up and down and eventually says, "sure ,all right."

The game is going well and your playing good, when you ask "You wanna come to my place and have breakfast? I've got a Waffle maker!" "What? but its like 1 o'clock and I've just eaten lunch?!" Em says grunting as he smacks the ball with his fist.

"Oh come on Em!" you taunt, "my treat, you can pretend your at the club and..." "Have you even watched that movie GOD! There isn't even any breakfast in it!" he shouts losing his concentration.

"Then why the hell is it called breakfast club?, what did you do just sit around?!" you yell back blocking a ball from the ground just before it hits.

The coach starts to notice that the two of you are getting distracted and is shouting at you to "stop talking!", when the volley ball smacks itself deep into you face so that you fall over and black out.

You awake with a start from your nightmare, It was just a dream...

You look over it is in the middle of the night now and darkness fills your cell. Mel is in a very deep sleep and silence is carried throughout the halls.

You can't sleep now you need the toilet, so you get up.

On the way to the toilet, you notice a faint glimmer of light shining in through the cell windows bars. You walk over to take a look outside. It is Emilio Estevez, he must have been imprisoned here to he is with a small group of celebs which include Mike Myers,James Corden, Ainsley Harriott and a rather shaken Judi Dench. They appear to be trying to make a breakout.

Em gestures for you to step closer to the window, you do so and he nods towards Ainsley who pulls out a few rods of dynamite and sticks them to the wall with some tape, he lights them with a match he pulls out of his cheff apron and the group runs away.

You quickly realize that you should do the same, but another thought fills you brain just is the explosion starts- this is going to make a hell of a lot of noise.

A massive explosion blows a huge hole in the wallwhere you sleep toppling your bunkbed and sending Mel flying and screaming.

You uncover yor self from your hiding spot behind a desk and walk out to inpect the damage. the hole is big enough to climb through. you hear the guards yelling from the corridor. Its now or never!

Escape through the hole
Deny the opportunity and make sure Mel's alright.

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#993 Rock, paper, scissors. by Toby H

You throw Rock.

She throws scissors, and shrieks in annoyance.

you gloat and fist pump the air. "Best out of three!" She yells.

you sigh, annoyance and hatred for Madonna filling your voice.

"No!" you say "I won, fair and square!"

You see the slight madness in Madonna's eyes, she looks slightly dangerous and maybe even Borderline insane ;)

she obviously is not taking prison too well.

The Guard steps into the pale moonlight that shines through the window bars, it is Bruce Willis in disguise. He must have a plan to escape.

The situation is tense, If you go with Bruce will you Live free or die hard?

Punch Madonna and start a prison fight.
Call to Bruce ask him what he is planning on doing?

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#992 March onto Washington by yourself by Toby H

You march outside on a mission to take over Washington.

But you soon realize that the gates are all locked and without your large party of aggressive Pre-teens you wont get very far in overthrowing the prison.

However it does take 5 guards beating you till you bleed until you realize that they don't consider you as much of a threat.

lying in a sodden pool of your own drying blood, for hours on end all you can hear is the cheery music of the television which the children are watching sesame street on. Maybe you should have joined them...

you cry for help, but no-one comes to your aid.

you feel yourself slipping away, you are desperate for help but don't want to exert yourself too much. should you?

Cry some more!
Except you fate and hope someone passes by?

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#991 Tell Mel to run into the wooded area surrounding the Prison and set up camp. by Toby H

Mel shrieks with joy and sprints for the tree line.
As you run..or float however you hear the sirens of the prison behind you. You hear yelling and gunshots coming from up above your head, it sounds like machine gun fire.

Mel cries with fear and and makes a drastic turn towards the train tracks, blindly running towards his doom as a high speed train thunders along the rails.

You use your ghost teleportation powers to catch up with Mel, but he ignores your warning's.

What will you do?

Ghost slap some sense into Mel.
Let him run to his demise.

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#990 Bats are aluminum, smart-ass. by Toby H

Your cry yourself into unconsciousness.
When you wake you find yourself tied to a chair in a dark room. On a table to your left is a button, its Big and round and red and shiny. To your right is another button it is small and square and blue and dull.

You cringe as you realize this is a complete rip off of the matrix. Nothing else is in the room, or so you think...you really cant see though its too dark.

what do you pick blue pill...I mean, Blue button or red button?

Red button
Blue button

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#989 Offer to play Cluedo. by Toby H

"It's alright!" you exclaim. "here, lets play this and have more fun!" The guards joyfully cheer and you sit back down to play.

The game goes on for half an hour, the guards are thoroughly enjoying themselves. you realize that you know who committed the murder.

Its colonel mustard in the cellar with the officer brown's ID card. Wait a second... You don't remember that in the previous game and it sounds like a very obscure weapon of choice.

Then you realize that this is one of the officers ID cards, giving him access to staff only areas. it must have got mixed up in the cards by mistake. This may be useful.

do you:

give it back to the officer, claiming it was an honest mistake.
excuse yourself from the game to go to the toilet and leg it out of the open door.

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#988 Pretend to be asleep by Toby H

You pretend to be asleep.

The guards storm in and notice Mel, "mother of God!" one of them says and lowers his hat.
One turns towards you, but sees you are fast asleep and continues to inspect the suspended body

Yes! you think to yourself, they bought it!
One of the guards sheds a tear as they reach for their wally-talky to call for a body bag. They are distracted by the situation

Now's your chance to strike, or will you?!

Attack the guards
Wait it out some more

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#987 Use Mel as a human shit-shield by Toby H

Mel screams like a lobster in boiling shit water as his rotten turds splatter over the entirety of his body.

"What a load of sh*t!" you yell, pleased with your joke but also terribly disgusted. Mel says nothing, but splutters as you drop him to the floor, He falls into a stinking puddle of his own feces.

Mel worked surprisingly well as a 'shit-shield', there is only flecks of Mel crap on your orange jumpsuit and across your luscious mustache. He appears to be unconscious, he must of passed out in the heat of the moment, so much for a action movie star.

"well.." you start, perfectly aware that Mel is unconscious, at least it wasn't as Cr*p as the new Baywatch movie!"
"ahem!" a voice starts behind him, you turn and see the Rock, not really the sort of person you want to be starting fights with. You see The Rock look down at the situation at hand, his face turns from slight annoyance to outright horror as if by the flick of a switch.
"Dwayne, I can Explain...ooh that sort of rhymed!" you mutter, as the rock slowly shakes this head. "What the hell happened here?" Dwayne asks incredulously, "Is he dead?"

"him, NAH!!, he's fine!" you say unconvincingly. "What happened and GOD!...What is that smell!" he complains. "I had an accident..." you try to explain. "What?", "I don't know Dwayne faulty pipes or something? All I can tell you is that it was Fast and furious!"

Dwayne ignores this and frantically looks around, "We need to hide the body!" "No, Dwayne no! he's not dead and..." you splutter, the smell of sh*t on your mustache really making you feel ill now. "I don't care!" He yells, maybe a little too loud. "We need to hide him or else they'll think we did it too him!" "attempted turder??!!" you exclaim even louder, so loud that it reverberated down the hall.
Dwayne takes a deep breath, "shh!" he whispers "lets look at our options here." "Well we really only have two!" you say.

Help Dwayne hide the body.
Flee the scene.

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#986 Run away by S

As you turn to flee, you realise you've made a mistake and that you have no chance of outrunning Jackie's lightning-fast kick. Before the impact though, Mel's shoes seem to take on a life of their own and begin a frantic run out of the cell, pulling you along for the ride.

As you leave the confused looking Jackie Chan and his unconscious cellmate behind, you begin to wonder if this can really be happening or if the fumes from your brother's prison moonshine were stronger than you suspected.

You snap back to focus on the here and now when you see that the shoes have brought you to some unfamiliar part of the prison. More importantly, they're bringing you straight toward a wall. A very solid wall.

Try to unlace the shoes and leap to safety.
Trust the shoes.

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#985 Get it over with. If Geordi can get around blind, so can you. by Pierre Pauwels

Well done, you now feel like the very best, like no one ever was.
You notice a teenager in a corner of the room. You recognise Ash Ketchum, the famous actor, forever young.
He asks you : "Hi ! It's time for you to choose a starter. Which one do you want ? Squirtle or Charmander ?"
"What about Bulbasaur ?", you enquire.
"Who cares ?"

You have to choose one.


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#984 Run towards the showers by k8

As you run, you rip your clothes off. In the showers you find Chris Evans. You entwine your glistening bodies in a five-star embrace. The guards catch up with you, but are blinded by your stellar lovemaking and leave you be.

Stay enveloped in his rippling arms.
Leave him cold and alone. Keep running.

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Celebritiesinprison.com is a work of collaborative interactive fiction. Any similarity to actual celebrities, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Game experience may change during online play. All entries are copyright their original authors. We din' shoot nobody, we just made the gun!