Celebrities in Prison

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#988 Pretend to be asleep by Toby H
You pretend to be asleep.

The guards storm in and notice Mel, "mother of God!" one of them says and lowers his hat.
One turns towards you, but sees you are fast asleep and continues to inspect the suspended body

Yes! you think to yourself, they bought it!
One of the guards sheds a tear as they reach for their wally-talky to call for a body bag. They are distracted by the situation

Now's your chance to strike, or will you?!

Attack the guards
Wait it out some more

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#987 Use Mel as a human shit-shield by Toby H

Mel screams like a lobster in boiling shit water as his rotten turds splatter over the entirety of his body.

"What a load of sh*t!" you yell, pleased with your joke but also terribly disgusted. Mel says nothing, but splutters as you drop him to the floor, He falls into a stinking puddle of his own feces.

Mel worked surprisingly well as a 'shit-shield', there is only flecks of Mel crap on your orange jumpsuit and across your luscious mustache. He appears to be unconscious, he must of passed out in the heat of the moment, so much for a action movie star.

"well.." you start, perfectly aware that Mel is unconscious, at least it wasn't as Cr*p as the new Baywatch movie!"
"ahem!" a voice starts behind him, you turn and see the Rock, not really the sort of person you want to be starting fights with. You see The Rock look down at the situation at hand, his face turns from slight annoyance to outright horror as if by the flick of a switch.
"Dwayne, I can Explain...ooh that sort of rhymed!" you mutter, as the rock slowly shakes this head. "What the hell happened here?" Dwayne asks incredulously, "Is he dead?"

"him, NAH!!, he's fine!" you say unconvincingly. "What happened and GOD!...What is that smell!" he complains. "I had an accident..." you try to explain. "What?", "I don't know Dwayne faulty pipes or something? All I can tell you is that it was Fast and furious!"

Dwayne ignores this and frantically looks around, "We need to hide the body!" "No, Dwayne no! he's not dead and..." you splutter, the smell of sh*t on your mustache really making you feel ill now. "I don't care!" He yells, maybe a little too loud. "We need to hide him or else they'll think we did it too him!" "attempted turder??!!" you exclaim even louder, so loud that it reverberated down the hall.
Dwayne takes a deep breath, "shh!" he whispers "lets look at our options here." "Well we really only have two!" you say.

Help Dwayne hide the body.
Flee the scene.

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#986 Run away by S

As you turn to flee, you realise you've made a mistake and that you have no chance of outrunning Jackie's lightning-fast kick. Before the impact though, Mel's shoes seem to take on a life of their own and begin a frantic run out of the cell, pulling you along for the ride.

As you leave the confused looking Jackie Chan and his unconscious cellmate behind, you begin to wonder if this can really be happening or if the fumes from your brother's prison moonshine were stronger than you suspected.

You snap back to focus on the here and now when you see that the shoes have brought you to some unfamiliar part of the prison. More importantly, they're bringing you straight toward a wall. A very solid wall.

Try to unlace the shoes and leap to safety.
Trust the shoes.

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#985 Get it over with. If Geordi can get around blind, so can you. by Pierre Pauwels

Well done, you now feel like the very best, like no one ever was.
You notice a teenager in a corner of the room. You recognise Ash Ketchum, the famous actor, forever young.
He asks you : "Hi ! It's time for you to choose a starter. Which one do you want ? Squirtle or Charmander ?"
"What about Bulbasaur ?", you enquire.
"Who cares ?"

You have to choose one.


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#984 Run towards the showers by k8

As you run, you rip your clothes off. In the showers you find Chris Evans. You entwine your glistening bodies in a five-star embrace. The guards catch up with you, but are blinded by your stellar lovemaking and leave you be.

Stay enveloped in his rippling arms.
Leave him cold and alone. Keep running.

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#983 Run away by k8

You dart past them- they have left your cell door open.

Run towards the showers
Run towards the exercise yard

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#982 Run out of line, jump onto William Shatner's head and scream "They're turning us into sausages!" by k8

Shatner startles, kissing every woman and punching every man in his immediate vicinity. Someone shouts "RIOT", you think it might have been Lin Manuel Miranda.

You break down and weep, the chaos is too much
You join the heaving crowd of A-listers as they attempt to overpower the guards

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#981 Explain what happened. by KoshzPoshz

"Well, there's a funny story about that. I accidentally punched him until he died. But hey, what's a mistake between friends?"
The guards take out their coshs.

Try to slap them
Run away

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#980 Punch him by SilverGuillotine

You punch him in the stomach. Your fist sinks in and then your whole body. You feel like you are falling, but you are actually rising as his entire body turns into a hot air balloon. You rise into the atmosphere until the air becomes thin.

Jump out of the balloon
Wake up

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#979 You promised to kill all the guards in personalized public executions, then having everyone there fight to the death. by KoshzPoshz

Nobody likes the idea, except for the cast of The Purge. You get disqualified in the primaries.

Get revenge on EVERYONE
Let it go

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#978 Beat up some fools by KoshzPoshz

You dash through the prison, looking for trouble. You find it in the form of the famous singing cowboy Roy Rogers and his gang of brutal gunslingers. "Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. If it ain't little Eddie Murphy", Roy whines. "I AIN'T SO LITTLE ANYMORE!" you scream. Roy looks a little scared."Fire!" he shouts. The cowboys' bullets bounce off your abs.

Charge the cowboys
Use your enlightened mind powers

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#977 Then you remember that you <i>are</i> a bird of paradise. by KoshzPoshz

Oh yeaaaah. This is a problem you've had before. You have one too many hard ciders and you wake up in prison in the body of Chuck Gibson. Well, at least you know what to do.

Grab Maurice's gun and shoot him in the face
Explain your situation to Maurice

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#976 Try to run for President of the Prison by Highhentaiexplosion

You decide to try running for president of the prison. After prison primaries, your opponent turns out to be semifamous YouTube star Doug Walker, in prison after trumped-up copyright charges. He's promising freedom from the DMCA within the confines of this prison, and good internet to boot. You decide to review your own promises.

You promised to help the environment, and to prevent discrimination based on gender, orientation, or fetish.
You promised to kill all the guards in personalized public executions, then having everyone there fight to the death.

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#975 Change their sexuality to attract them to you by Highhentaiexplosion

Maruice's sexuality is not changed.
They honestly have no idea what you're doing.
Suddenly, you remember that the people around you are humans, and not birds of paradise, or some other species which responds to mating dances.

Then you remember that you are a bird of paradise.
Then the Earth explodes.

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#974 Rattle your cage. by Highhentaiexplosion

The exact same thing happens that last happened when you rattled the cage. The same servant comes, and, fed up from having to kill you, decides to make it a double.
It doesn't really hurt less the second time.
As Mel's ghost rises, you have a shocking realization.

Mel was a goat in human form!
Mel has the exact same face as you!

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Celebritiesinprison.com is a work of collaborative interactive fiction. Any similarity to actual celebrities, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Game experience may change during online play. All entries are copyright their original authors. We din' shoot nobody, we just made the gun!