Celebrities in Prison

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#1044 Be a vampire? But I'm not dead! by Richard A Bond
You are totally confused, how did all this happen? You can't be dead - can you? You stare intently at Cusack's vampire-like features and his image seems to shimmer, fade
and become indistinct. Slowly, the normal Cusack reappears in front of the cell door.

"Uhh, Cusack...what are you trying to pull??? Vampires...Ghouls..? you groan, rubbing your eyes.

Cusack looks at you, his features an odd mix of disappointment and irritation. "The force is strong with this one" he mutters.

He then breaks into a broad grin, regaining his composure. "Ha Ha, Vampires!" - you're seeing things, old lad, no doubt the stress of this place. Just as well we plan to get out, eh?"

With that, he heaves the cell door open, which squeaks harshly on rusty hinges.

You hesitate. Will you inform Cusack:

"I'll wait outside here for a moment to clear my head"
"I'm with you, Cusack, lead the way"

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#1043 Keep antisemitic thoughts to yourself by MEL

You do. Suddenly you feel at peace.

But peace is boring, right?

Want to cause some havoc?

Smash Mel's head against the wall.
Meditate for a bit.

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#1042 Show him your balls. by Macgyver

Wow he says. *Awkward silence*
Thank you I am honored!
How can I repay you?!

Show me yours
Get me MacGyver

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#1041 Do nothing. by Unknown

"Just wait!" you tell Mel, watching the toilet. 10 seconds pass, and then the toilet crumbles into dust! Wow! Mel seems quite impressed. Water is starting to pool in the cell.

So, now that you have Mel's respect, you ask him to...

...clean up this mess.
...marry you.

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#1040 File a class-action lawsuit on behalf of Madonna's fans. by Unknown

Ok, you and a million of your bestest twitter followers file a lawsuit over Madonna's camel toe falsification, obtain class action certification with you as the class representative, and hold depositions of her and her staff. You totally get to do all of that.

You are now in CIP-court: a special forum for imprisoned celebrities to play out their ridiculous legal spats. The judge, of course, is Judy.

Judy makes a snide response to the bailiff, scowls, and asks why you are here.

Explain how horrible Madonna is with that awful metal camel toe
Kick Madonna in the crotch again

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#1039 Do something. by DoubleDenial

Thanks to your true show of determination, you are now the toilet god. What do you want to do now?

Mess with Mel
Mess with the guards

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#1038 Give the guards atomic wedgies by DoubleDenial

You attempt to give the guards atomic wedgies. It didn't work.

You get arrested for attempted murder and go to the BitLife prison...what?

Attempt to escape from the emoji guard
Go to bed

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#1037 You suck by UR mom

You really rae bad. ALso you dided. the ENMD

HAHAHAHHA U DIE
JHAHAHAHAHAH U DIOE

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#1036 Make it look like an accident by Nico

You step back, untying your shoelaces. You then took a few steps, falling directly in front of Mel's body.

You reach your arm forward, grabbing onto the underwear in the process. By the time the guards arrived, you were lying on the ground, your untied shoe left behind.

The guards look suspicious.

Try to convince them you really did trip
Give the guards atomic wedgies

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#1035 Beat him to death with the bread by Dazen

You continue hitting him in the head with the stale bread.

Before long, blood is spilling from a gash just above his forehead.

You continue hitting him.

You break his nose with a miscalculated swing. It leaks blood in a steady stream, trickling downwards with gravity.

You continue hitting him.

The gash grows wider. The pool of blood grows with it. The blood stains his face, his clothes, the floor. The floor is slippery from it. You almost lose your footing.

You continue hitting him.

You think you hear footsteps in the corridor. Or is it just your head messing with you? Distracted, you slip in the slick substance, falling hard on the concrete floor. You head connects with it. You now have a head wound to match Mel's. The blood runs into your eyes. Is it yours or his? You no longer know. You push yourself back to your feet, holding your injured head in one hand, the bread in the other. Back to it.

You continue hitting him.

The stale bread is spraying crumbs. The footsteps grow louder, clearer.

You continue hitting him.

This is taking longer than you expected.

Switch to the ancient mace.
Come to your senses.

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#1034 Run to Mel Gibson and embrace him, thanking him for saving your life. by Dazen

You embrace your brother, and he wraps his arms around your back. He squeezes you harder. And harder. And harder. You feel like you're about to pop!

"Please, brother," you beg, "You are hurting me!"

You hear him chuckle. The Warden stands idly by, still smiling.

Beg the Warden to help you.
Knee Mel Gibson in the junk and try to make your getaway.

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#1033 Say something by Shibe the weeb

You decide to say something to the guard. What do you say?

"You forgot to say no homo"
"Oh nooo! You're gonna get ligma!"

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#1032 " Shut up and be quiet bitch! I'm gunna rape your ass and you can't tell me what to do...and neither can the police, because I am the police!" by Shibe the weeb

You gasp as he shoves you to the ground. "What? How could this happen? I didn't even drop the soap! How am I gonna get out of this mess?"? you wonder, desperate for salvation. Suddenly, you get an idea. What's your idea?

Say something
Pray to something

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#1031 MMMmmmm... yummy! by Shibe the weeb

Finally soaking up the orgasmic flavor of blood after all this time, the inner demon inside you awakens and you ascend to a higher level up evolution. What type of demon are you?

Lord of Golf Clubs
Lord of Beetles

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#1030 Prison Cafe by Shibe the weeb

You decide to go to the prison café, so you tell that to the guard and follow him into a room slightly smaller than a school cafeteria. There are seven tables to your left, with three of them being occupied by various celebrities. To your right is a counter where two staff members operate various coffee and drink machines.

Walk over to the tables
Walk over to the counter

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Celebritiesinprison.com is a work of collaborative interactive fiction. Any similarity to actual celebrities, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Game experience may change during online play. All entries are copyright their original authors. We din' shoot nobody, we just made the gun!