Celebrities in Prison

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#1023 Search for traps and secret doors by Tronald Dump
You get down on your hands and knees and search the carpet for trap doors. You find nothing, the floor is dead solid.

You become increasingly confused as you run your hands along the cell walls, trying to find secret exits. Eventually, you give up and sit back down on the bed.

Exhausted, you decide to lie down for a bit in the newfound peace, you shut your eyes.

"Pssst!" You hear as your eyes dart open, "over here!" you look around you seeing nothing. "Who's that?" you ask, rubbing your eyes, it was now the middle of the night and pitch black. You hear a slight scuffle and then silence again, "Mel? Maurice? who's there?"

All of a sudden, a strained voice can be heard the darkness, "Its Mel!" "Mel? where the hell are you?" you ask completely bewildered in you half asleep state. You try to get up, but trip over the bedpost and fall flat on your face, ow.

"Careful you dimwit I have a Lethal weapon in my hand!" Mel groans, he is clearly standing right in front of you.

"Mel, what the hell is going on?!!" you cry, rubbing your bruised head.

"Have you ever watched Chicken run?" He asks calmly. "No?" you say more confused than ever.

Mel explains the plot.

"Well, you coming?" Mel says, you imagine him stretching out a hand in the darkness.

Go with mel
Go back to sleep.

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#1022 Yank hardest. by Emu

The cartilage and tendons connecting Bono's chitinous "sunglasses" to his fleshy innards are severed, revealing a pulsating mass of what can only be described as the ultimate sin. Whoopi is initially horrified, but does a poor job hiding her blossoming arousal.

This is my ultimate fantasy!
Scream as loud as you can, for as long as you can...

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#1021 Twist Mel's neck back around. by Jane Thomas

You find yourself trying to avoid touching Mel's corpse.

Twist Mel's neck back around.
Just... no.

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#1020 Cut open and search the mattress for anything useful. by TH

You cut open the mattress with your broken teeth (from the beating) , all that's inside is mattress stuffing.

You groan in disgust, It stinks of piss.

Hmm, Could this be useful somehow?

No, Repair the mattress and go back to doing nothing.
Extract the Mattress stuffing for further use

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#1019 "So you DID know!" by TH

"Yeah me and him are great friends, we hang out all the time!" Mel exclaims.

"Really?" You say, surprised that Mel even has friends.

"Yeah, well maybe not 'great' great friends, but good friends y'know?" Mel says.

"I was with him when he first designed this piece of crap!" Mel recalls, "Dam nutcase wanted us to wear prison outfits with holes in like the building itself."

"Wait! What do you mean the building has holes in it?" you exclaim, heart racing.

"I mean the prick built this dump to look like a block of F***ing swiss cheese!, Holes everywhere!, when this place first opened prisoners just crawled through them and escaped, it was crazy!"

"Woah! so how come you haven't escaped? Lets go!" you shout eagerly, possibly a tad to loud.

"Hold on Steve McQueen! The holes got filled in ages ago! Wardens were there for hours doing it... There is only one hole left, and your not going to like where it is..."

Where?!!
Ok then I guess I don't want to know...

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#1018 Get out from under the bed. After all Mel has been there for a while. by August

Mel is dead. His neck twisted 360 degrees. It is rather odd.

Leave Mel be. He is in peace now.
Twist Mel's neck back around.

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#1017 Refuse the siren's call. A ninja is ever vigilant. Unless he is tired... by August

You wait for what seems like days, refusing sleep like a most vigilant watchman. The dimples are your only respite from the constant calls of that dastardly siren. That song of sleep and rest. The dimples. All is dimple. All is dimple. 1,000,000,512. 1,000,000,513. You are a machine, a dimple counting machine.

Get out from under the bed. After all Mel has been there for a while.
I am a ninja!

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#1016 No! Must... count... dimples! by August

You continue to count, the day slowly progressing. Sleep calls to you like a siren in deep waters. You reach towards rest. Just one step closer... One. More. Step...

Rest in the bliss and certainty that you will wake up eventually.
Refuse the siren's call. A ninja is ever vigilant. Unless he is tired...

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#1015 Kick the Cruise again. by August

Tom Cruise groans, then falls asleep permanently. Despite the weakness of your body you do have quite a good kick. Gibson wakes, his face sullen and searching for more brandy.

Kick Gibson
Give Gibson a drink

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#1014 Snag a seat by Justin Beber. by August

You see, you thought it was Justin Bieber you were sitting next to, however, it was actually Justin Beber you sat next to. Beber was a pop star riding off of Bieber's fame. (Which explains why no-one was sitting next to him). He offers you a half eaten pudding cup.

Take the pudding cup.
Walk away.

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#1013 Whatever you say, Maurice. by Maxine

"Don't get snappy with me." Maurice is mad now. He puts his keys away. You have missed your chance to use him. He walks away, scoffing.

You lean back against your cell wall, looking at your drunk brother, Mel Gibson, lying on the floor.

Steal whatever is in his pockets.
Try calling for someone other than Maurice.

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#1012 Wait to see what The Rza has to say. by TH

Silence.

You wait 7 years, RZA does not say a single thing.

Then you hear the jingle of keys, the warden has arrived at the cell door. "RZA?" he inquires, "yea cuz?" RZA responds.

"Your sentence is up, your free to leave..." he claims with a smile, RZA seems pleasantly surprised, "Aw sick!" he excalimes and leaves the room along with his crones.

'great, now how am i gonna get out!' you say to yourself, "Maybe I should have just made the move..."

You realize just how much time has passed, you can't even remember how long your sentence is? You approach a warden. "Excuse me, do you know how much longer I've gotta be here?", The guard stares at you with mock surprise, "But sir, surely you remember being given a 20 year sentence?"

You gasp "20 years" You are 98 and definitely don't expect to live that long...

"Fiddlesticks! any chance of letting me out early huh?", The guard chuckles and remarks, "FYI, I don't think you will leave this building ever again..."

You literally sh*t yourself, and instantly you know, tonight's the night to break out and live my life!!

You need to enlist people to help you on your daring escape, you walk into the dining room at lunch, two celebrities catch your eye.

Susan Boyle AKA subo
Anthony Mcpartlin AKA ant

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#1011 Except you fate and hope someone passes by? by Ripperley

Defeated and broken, you except that you likely are doomed to truly die here.
Hang on a moment.
Except?

Except you won't! Aha!
Accept your fate instead.

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#1010 Sit around and watch Sesame Street. by Ripperley

While coming up with your devious plan, the realization hits you that much as you could destroy this entire troupe of children on your own, so could any one of the prison's guards.
Defeated, you shuffle over to the blaring noise of a small 52 inch flatscreen television to bask in the daily happenings of Bert and Ernie.

Change the channel.
Invite the guard to watch too.

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#1009 "You think your plan's gonna work?" by yee

help

eh
yeet

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Celebritiesinprison.com is a work of collaborative interactive fiction. Any similarity to actual celebrities, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Game experience may change during online play. All entries are copyright their original authors. We din' shoot nobody, we just made the gun!