Celebrities in Prison

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#984 Run towards the showers by k8
As you run, you rip your clothes off. In the showers you find Chris Evans. You entwine your glistening bodies in a five-star embrace. The guards catch up with you, but are blinded by your stellar lovemaking and leave you be.

Stay enveloped in his rippling arms.
Leave him cold and alone. Keep running.

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#983 Run away by k8

You dart past them- they have left your cell door open.

Run towards the showers
Run towards the exercise yard

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#982 Run out of line, jump onto William Shatner's head and scream "They're turning us into sausages!" by k8

Shatner startles, kissing every woman and punching every man in his immediate vicinity. Someone shouts "RIOT", you think it might have been Lin Manuel Miranda.

You break down and weep, the chaos is too much
You join the heaving crowd of A-listers as they attempt to overpower the guards

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#981 Explain what happened. by KoshzPoshz

"Well, there's a funny story about that. I accidentally punched him until he died. But hey, what's a mistake between friends?"
The guards take out their coshs.

Try to slap them
Run away

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#980 Punch him by SilverGuillotine

You punch him in the stomach. Your fist sinks in and then your whole body. You feel like you are falling, but you are actually rising as his entire body turns into a hot air balloon. You rise into the atmosphere until the air becomes thin.

Jump out of the balloon
Wake up

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#979 You promised to kill all the guards in personalized public executions, then having everyone there fight to the death. by KoshzPoshz

Nobody likes the idea, except for the cast of The Purge. You get disqualified in the primaries.

Get revenge on EVERYONE
Let it go

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#978 Beat up some fools by KoshzPoshz

You dash through the prison, looking for trouble. You find it in the form of the famous singing cowboy Roy Rogers and his gang of brutal gunslingers. "Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. If it ain't little Eddie Murphy", Roy whines. "I AIN'T SO LITTLE ANYMORE!" you scream. Roy looks a little scared."Fire!" he shouts. The cowboys' bullets bounce off your abs.

Charge the cowboys
Use your enlightened mind powers

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#977 Then you remember that you <i>are</i> a bird of paradise. by KoshzPoshz

Oh yeaaaah. This is a problem you've had before. You have one too many hard ciders and you wake up in prison in the body of Chuck Gibson. Well, at least you know what to do.

Grab Maurice's gun and shoot him in the face
Explain your situation to Maurice

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#976 Try to run for President of the Prison by Highhentaiexplosion

You decide to try running for president of the prison. After prison primaries, your opponent turns out to be semifamous YouTube star Doug Walker, in prison after trumped-up copyright charges. He's promising freedom from the DMCA within the confines of this prison, and good internet to boot. You decide to review your own promises.

You promised to help the environment, and to prevent discrimination based on gender, orientation, or fetish.
You promised to kill all the guards in personalized public executions, then having everyone there fight to the death.

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#975 Change their sexuality to attract them to you by Highhentaiexplosion

Maruice's sexuality is not changed.
They honestly have no idea what you're doing.
Suddenly, you remember that the people around you are humans, and not birds of paradise, or some other species which responds to mating dances.

Then you remember that you are a bird of paradise.
Then the Earth explodes.

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#974 Rattle your cage. by Highhentaiexplosion

The exact same thing happens that last happened when you rattled the cage. The same servant comes, and, fed up from having to kill you, decides to make it a double.
It doesn't really hurt less the second time.
As Mel's ghost rises, you have a shocking realization.

Mel was a goat in human form!
Mel has the exact same face as you!

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#973 Kill everyone by Highhentaiexplosion

You decide to kill em' all, despite it being dubious that this was actually the solution in Inception. Exploiting the fact that celebrities can get whatever the hell they want, you choose the best weapon of all time: the remote detonator. You might need a different weapon for the last few survivors, but you don't think about that for now. Instead,

you begin by rigging explosives in your school.
you begin by rigging explosives in the town square.

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#972 Shit in your first bosses mouth. We all know he was a massive douche. by HIGHHENTAIEXPLOSION

You eventually, through thorough searching, discover your first boss has died. This makes shitting in his mouth both easier, due to you likely both being in the same realm and your shit being tangible relative to his face, and also harder, because he can see you. With this taken into account, you could continue your quest, or you could abstain and continue to practice Scientology, as you were told to by your overlords, the Bat-Lord elite.

But your boss was REALLY a douche.

He was a douche, and he will pay for it, even after death.
Check up on the Bat-Lords. It could be interesting.

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#971 Wake Mel up and tell him that we're getting out of here. by Whammu

"Awaken, my masters!", you speak. JoJo OST starts playing through the speakers as Mel instanously opens his eyes and gets up from his rest. You both look at your cell's wall, as it rumbles and emits an earthquake. Leonardo DiCaprio and Michael Jackson statues break off from the wall, and return to their original colour. They were alive once more. They nod as the alarm sounds.

Walk out of your cell, freeing as many celebrities as possible.
Walk out of your cell, the only goal in your minds is to escape.

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#970 Your yelling finally awakens the sleepy celeb! by KoshzPoshz

He looks a little... off.

He's a ghoul!
He's a vampire!

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Celebritiesinprison.com is a work of collaborative interactive fiction. Any similarity to actual celebrities, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Game experience may change during online play. All entries are copyright their original authors. We din' shoot nobody, we just made the gun!